Why Change Feels Hard — and what you can do about it

The Triune Brain Model

We’ve all come up with promising New Year’s resolutions like getting more exercise, saving money, reading more books, seeing friends more often, or finally doing that MBA. I may even have made the same promises to myself year after year — promising myself that this year will be different. This year I feel more committed, more motivated — this year I won’t let myself down… or will I?

The inability to hold myself accountable — especially when I know these things will benefit me in the long run, is maddening! The sorry inevitability of my failed commitments adds another thin layer of shame to my inner critic. I know I’m not alone here — a 2007 study by Richard Wiseman from the University of Bristol showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail. The University of Scranton’s research suggests that just 8% of people achieve their New Year’s goals which means 92% of resolutions fail.

If only I had tried harder or had more willpower. But I didn’t, and I’ve only myself to blame 😑.

When we fail to change, we begin to doubt our own abilities and question how we perceive ourselves. It can also be a very private shame — one where we chastise ourselves internally and eventually erode our self-esteem with the mantra ‘I’m just not good at X’, or add labels that become self-fulfilling prophecies, like ‘I’m lazy’.

Lazy? Uncommitted? Low willpower? No focus?

Our brains resist change for a multitude of reasons. We are creatures of habit by design. Following habits preserves energy and frees up our brain for more complex thinking (perhaps, then I’m not lazy just cognitively efficient?). We take great comfort in following through on these habits because they make us feel competent and comfortable. Habits provide us with a sense of comfort in their predictability — like a well-practiced recipe that delivers every single time. We spend years fine tuning them to the point where we can unconsciously go about our daily lives with ease.

It’s no surprise then, that if we spent years embedding these habits, it’s going to take some time and effort to interrupt the learned behaviours and recode a new pattern. To effect lasting change in any behaviours or thought patterns, we need to understand how our existing habits have been built over time. It helps to have some insight into how our brains support habits, and why those same systems make it so hard to break them.

We can group the ‘operational systems’ of our brains into three main groups:

Triune Brain

• the lizard brain — controls automatic functions such as breathing, heartbeat and digestion to keep us alive
• the mammal brain — automatizes our actions — creating habits, motor skills and memories
• the human brain — is the smartest and the most modern system — it enables us to make sense of the world, learn, have unique personality traits, and controls language, abstract thoughts and empathy for others.

Now what? Setting Up For Success

The unlearning process can often feel harder than a new learning process — like swimming against the tide, or climbing the stairs when the elevator is out of service. So, if we’re going to make this change stick we need to create the right environment:

1. Enough energy for the human brain to fuel the complex work — most importantly the pre-frontal cortex. Our brains burn energy in the form of glucose — if you are about to engage in deep work, make sure you are well rested and fed! A hangry brain will find it hard to think clearly!
2. The mammal brain needs to feel safe to work effectively. If not, it is programmed to shut down access to rational thought and redirect blood flow to the limbic brain as a survival instinct. The feeling of comfort, derived from security, ensures our full resources are available to us for decision-making, learning, or problem-solving. A fearful brain will find it hard to focus!
3. Enough repetition to build automaticity. Our brains are capable of growing and learning throughout our lifetime. Aspects of the brain are ‘plastic’, allowing us to adapt, master new skills, store memories and information. Our brains can rewire and reorganize themselves through a process of sprouting (the creation of new connections between neurons, or nerve cells). As we learn, these neural pathways begin to form, like dirt tracks at first, forging new connections and communicating through a process of synapses. As we stimulate these new pathways through a repetitive, memory-forming cognitive function (such as studying or practicing) these dirt tracks evolve into super-highways of communication.

Now that we know the basic building blocks of HOW and WHY our brain responds to change this way, what can we do to strengthen our adaptability muscle and begin to embrace change fluidly?

Building Adaptability

1. Self-talk — monitor how you speak to yourself when you haven’t followed through on commitment or resolutions in the past. Begin to challenge those assumptions you may already have about yourself that you can’t learn a new language, or that you’re too lazy to go to the gym.
2. Novelty — new experiences create new neural pathways. Stimulating your brain with new ideas, new music, new experiences and new perspectives keeps your brain active and alive.
3. Practice — repetition strengthens neural connections. While those dirt tracks may feel bumpy, slow and effortful at first, continued repetition will have you travelling super highways before long!

COMMIT! If you wanna take the island — you gotta burn the friggin’ boats!

If you are interested in cultivating an adaptive mindset — try out some of these simple neuroplasticity exercises for 30 days and let me know if you notice some improvement!

• Non-dominant hand exercises: Using your non-dominant hand for everyday activities like brushing your teeth or using a mouse forces the brain to form new neural connections.
• Yoga: Practicing yoga has been associated with decreased stress levels in the amygdala, the fear center of the brain.
• Reading: New concepts and new vocabulary increase and enhance brain connectivity.
• Sleeping: While not traditionally considered an “exercise,” sleep helps with learning and memory retention by transferring information across cells and growing connections between neurons.
• Fasting: Intermittent fasting promotes neuron growth and adaptive responses in synapses.
• Playing a musical instrument: Learning a new instrument pushes your brain to form new neural networks and can increase connectivity between brain regions.
• Brain-training games: There are a number of brain-training or “neuroplasticity games” on the market that may help improve processing speed.

Good luck!